I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

Actually, we've done 75 of these shows and every one of them has sold out. But then we buy all the tickets.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.

I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.

I don't watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn't the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.

Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I asked him to come along.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. That's why I put Don in several of my movies.

People enjoy sitting back knowing they won't hear a lot of four-letter words.

We kept a broad audience, and we didn't make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves.

As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists.

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

A lot of people like to live on laurels that happened 20 or 30 years ago, but it's nice to get awards. It's nice to be labeled and things like that, but I'm not sure everybody qualifies.

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

I have a lot of awards in my house that I have absolutely no idea what they are for.

I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death.

I was dyslexic - was, still am - 'cause I would see words that weren't there. And people just started laughing, and I thought, well, this is a good way to make a living. I'll just go downtown to read and have people laugh, you know?

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

Stories come from other shows at other studios where only 2,000 rounds were actually used and the money for the other 3,000 went right into the studio pockets. Corners were cut and that production suffered. Knock wood, that hasn't happened to us.

I would like to see it go back to the wood racquets. To see the touch put back in tennis.

After a hundred years the son of the King then reigning, who was of another family from that of the sleeping Princess, was a-hunting on that side of the country, and he asked what those towers were which he saw in the middle of a great thick wood.

Bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which, after the first and second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty; but being once driven up to the head, the pincers cannot take hold to draw it out, but which can only be done by the destruction of the wood.

If the weather is good I go into the nearby wood - there I am painting a small beech forest (in the sun) with a few conifers mixed in. This takes until 8 'o clock.

Well, very long ago, on the spot where the Wild Wood waves now, before ever it had planted itself and grown up to what it now is, there was a city - a city of people, you know.

Ultimately, literature is nothing but carpentry. With both you are working with reality, a material just as hard as wood.

I used to get on a stove wood pile at 5-6 years old and I would have a piece of stove wood and kindling bark as a pick, and I was a star.

I think the players, I put in the book for example that we should go back to wood rackets, probably they laughed at me, I'm a dinosaur, but I think that you see these great players, have even more variety and you see more strategy, there'd be more subtlety.

By means of tracing-paper I transfer my design to the wood and draw on that.

We had grain but no mills, so I designed a special mill of wood so we could make flour.

We continued to move forward without loss of time, hoping to be able to reach the wood described by the Indians before all our horses should become exhausted.

I just prefer wood. I like the smell. To me, it's a lot cheaper than electric or gas, and it's more convenient. It's just a better heat to me.

Well tended garden is better than a neglected wood lot.

My teeth have never been touched. Why did I tell you that? Knock on wood. I've got a few scars over the eyes, a couple on the chin, a few on the beak and one across the cheek. But my luck is running out.

In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.

Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational - but how much does it cost you to knock on wood?

Swirls of antique stained glass, blazes of brass, forests of carved wood and waterfalls of crystal combine to make up the city's most fabulously festive interior.

A stair not worn hollow by footsteps is, regarded from its own point of view, only a boring something made of wood.

One impulse from a vernal wood May teach you more of man, Of moral evil and of good, Than all the sages can.

The rat stops gnawing in the wood, the dungeon walls withdraw, the weight is lifted your pulse steadies and the sun has found your heart, the day was not bad, the season has not been bad, there is sense and even promise in going on.

But in Japan, there's nothing like that, since the temple is made of wood. The divine spirit inside the building is eternal, so the enclosure doesn't have to be.