Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel.

I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug.

There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

An actress must never lose her ego without it she has no talent.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.

Life is like a sewer what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

But in the new math approach the important thing is to understand what youre doing rather than to get the right answer.

You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

The stage is a place where I can be wholly myself. Even though you're in front of people almost to be judged, it is a place without judgement.

May I share with you my earliest memory of a political row? It was with my mother, about the Queen - classic Freudian stuff, shrinks would say. I was eight, and refusing to watch the Queen's Christmas Day broadcast.

Life and death. At some point we're gonna leave this world. Do I know when? Absolutely not.

Felicity, the companion of content, is rather found in our own breasts than in the enjoyment of external things; and I firmly believe it requires but a little philosophy to make a man happy in whatever state he is.

I was just born involved in politics. My family is conservative Mormon, and so I was born - although the Mormon faith is not inherently political, their faith requires some political stands, and those are ones that I happen to disagree with vehemently - so I was just political from a very early age.

You know, without China there is no Wal-Mart and without Wal-Mart there is no middle class and lower class prosperity in the United States.

I think to this day, 'Superman/Wonder Woman' is probably one of the trickiest things I've been working on. It's like being asked to write a 'Star Wars' movie or something like that. You don't know how you're going to handle it; you don't know if you can. You don't know if you should be the guy.

Children love their mothers. Especially with a boy child and his mother, there's a bond that's unbreakable.

Some people are directors and I think they should stay behind the camera.

For American families, Universal pre-K is an essential piece of the puzzle that not only allows their kids to get a good start, but it also allows mothers to remain on the job earning a paycheck and helping our economy grow.

The man who gives up accomplishes nothing and is only a hindrance. The man who does not give up can move mountains.

Many a man renounces morals, but with great difficulty the conception, 'morality.' Morality is the 'idea' of morals, their intellectual power, their power over the conscience; on the other hand, morals are too material to rule the mind, and do not fetter an 'intellectual' man, a so-called independent, a 'freethinker.'

I don't use Twitter. I'm a serious person.