I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

Clarinets like lawyers have cases mouthpieces and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.

I think that to one in sympathy with nature, each season, in turn, seems the loveliest.

I've written a lot of prose. I just haven't published it.

Complexity is the main enemy of security.

People have become so much more obsessed with the stories behind their food. When we go the market to buy bacon, we want to know where that pig came from and what processes were involved in getting it to us.

Not trying to be arrogant, but if I walked down the street and a girl saw me, she might take a look back because maybe I'm good-looking, right?

The softest freest most pliable and changeful living substance is the brain the hardest and most iron bound as well.

Women are more complicated communicators than men, who have a tendency to pronounce and bloviate, and that makes for better writing in talky work.

When I was a teenager, me and a couple of my friends entered a couple of modeling competitions just for fun, and one of those got me an agent in Sydney.

I think that's what it's all about; you work hard and practice to play on the big courts.

Make yourself necessary to the world and mankind will give you bread.

Medicare's top officials said in 2006 that they had reduced the number of fraudulent and improper claims paid by the agency, keeping billions of dollars out of the hands of people trying to game the system.

When people switch to car-sharing from car ownership, they reduce their vehicle miles traveled by 44 percent, and thus their greenhouse gas emissions go down by, like, 40 percent.

'Lost' was a phenomenon, like Elvis.

Google appears to be the worst of the major search engines from a privacy point of view; Ask.com, with AskEraser turned on, is among the best.

We are never deceived we deceive ourselves.

No doubt many people have the feeling that to talk about death at all is, in effect, to conjure it up mentally, to bring it closer in such a way that one has to face up to the inevitability of one's own eventual demise. So, to spare ourselves this psychological trauma, we decide just to try to avoid the topic as much as possible.

You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.

I'm not saying that President Obama should be exempt from criticism, nor do I believe it is some act of racial treason for a black person to hold our president accountable for his actions.

In New York City, when they develop something, they never use the old buildings. It's so wasteful. Why not use what's there?

Your brain is so lovely and so willing to please. It wants to help so much.

A sacrament is a visible sign of an invisible reality.

The long and distressing controversy over capital punishment is very unfair to anyone meditating murder.

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

Those who know me know I'm passionate about lists, and top of my list of priorities is my family. My wife Joan and I do not consider our legacy to our children to be wealth or fame but the opportunity to pursue happiness by following their own path.