He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

Clarinets like lawyers have cases mouthpieces and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.

Any judge who allows an adulterer with a live-in girlfriend to terminate the life of his wife should be impeached.

But even with a character like Cary who is relatively outlandish, at the end of the movie he's in a place where I wouldn't have expected him to be - taking on the responsibility of a woman who is pregnant and who used to be his best friend's wife.

A good husband makes a good wife.

The most profound, tangible influence in my life has been my wife, Monique. I don't know that I would even be alive were it not for her, and I certainly would not be the person that I am today.

So I decided to form a production company with my wife and our partner Diane.

I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.

Rude contact with facts chased my visions and dreams quickly away, and in their stead I beheld the horrors, the corruption, the evils and hypocrisy of society, and as I stood among them, a young wife, a great wail of agony went out from my soul.

When they were small and my wife really had no other responsibilities, except taking care of the family and all of us, it wasn't that big a deal. It was fun. Hey, we're going to Moscow. We're going to Italy. We're going to Toronto. We're going to New York.

Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife; he is always proud of himself as the source of it.

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

I met David Smith through my former wife, Cornelia, who'd studied with him.

My wife and two children traveled with me on locations all last season.

The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I immediately called the command center of the Department of Justice to let them know that my wife was on a plane that had been hijacked. I mainly wanted them know there was another hijacked plane out there.

I love being a mother. I loved being a daughter, a sister, a wife. I love being a woman with men. I love having given birth.

As an alcoholic, you have no appreciation for your wife or your children's feelings, but I'm making up for that now. I'm winning my children's trust back.

Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.

I did I Love My Wife on Broadway in 1978, and then went into television land. Now things are starting to come together in the way I thought they might when I was a kid.

So Ham's wife that was preserved on the Ark was a Negro of the seed of Cain and there was a priestly purpose in it, that the Devil would have a representation as well as God.

We have two kids, my wife and myself.

It takes as much discipline to be a mother and a wife as it does to do anything else.

I call upon my God to judge me, he knows that I love my friends and above all others my wife and children, the, oppinion of the world to contrary notwithstanding.

No slave is a slave to the same lengths, and in so full a sense of the word, as a wife is.

Love or not, I wouldn't subject a wife to the road. It's punishment.

One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.

It was not easy with a newborn, asking your wife to give up the family home and your security.

Give us a chance to show you that those so-called protective laws to aid women - however well intentioned originally - have become in fact restraints, which keep wife, abandoned wife, and widow alike from supporting her family.

Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant.

I'm still working, I've got two arms, two legs, two gorgeous kids, a lovely wife. Fifteen years ago, I was homeless. So when you think about it, I'm lucky.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.