I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me.

I am not this big celebrity, but it gets really crazy. You have to go through the nuts of blowing up, in a sense, and then figuring out how to live your life with that.

I don't think I'm a celebrity. A chimpanzee could have done what I did.

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

The whole celebrity culture thing - I'm fascinated by, and repelled by, and yet I end up knowing about it.

Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent.

It is better for me to serve a charity as an actor or a voice, rather than at a luncheon being just a celebrity.

You don't know when you're being watched. That's one of the weird things about celebrity. It's my least favorite part of acting, celebrity.

Everyone wants immediate success, immediate celebrity, and that doesn't produce what used to be artists.

It's part of the celebrity process but my life has never been as interesting or as wild as what's been printed about me.

My Brat Pack buddies and I didn't exactly handle celebrity very well. Success at an early age is far more difficult to handle than failure.

I don't have any friends and don't have any intention of making any. People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they're not really your friends. They're only there because you're a celebrity or because they want to get something from you.

I don't mean that if you're a Christian, walking close to God, you will immediately gain celebrity. you may fail as an artist, because you may not have what the public want at that time, and you have to be prepared for that.

The celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

I feel about me like I'm one of the working people, just like you, and everybody else. I don't fit the part of a celebrity.

There's no reason that just because you're a celebrity you can't write.

I was 25 and the most popular celebrity in the world, with the possible exception of my friend Mary Pickford.

I think the more you expose yourself as a celebrity, the less interesting you are to watch in your work, because if you're putting yourself out there all the time, you're not holding anything back.

However, I'm at a very comfortable place in my career and celebrity, in that I don't have to audition as extensively as I used to for roles but yet I'm not immediately recognizable.

I'm not a celebrity. I don't call myself a celebrity. I'm an actor.

I feel like I almost didn't grow up in the business, because my parents worked so hard at sheltering us from that. I was raised in Connecticut. And I honestly wasn't aware that my dad was a celebrity until I moved to Los Angeles a year ago.

I am utterly bored by celebrity interviews. Most celebrities are devoid of interest.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

I moved out at 18. I always studied classes and trained a lot, you know. I think nowadays is such a different time because there's so many channels promoting the celebrity aspect of things.

I've been that celebrity on the red carpet, and I appreciate that something hasn't got to just look good from the front, from the back, it's got to look good at all angles.

There's all this stuff that is happening in Edinburgh now, it's a sad attempt to create an Edinburgh society, similar to a London society, a highbrow literature celebrity society.

I was voted Biggest Ham and Likeliest to Become a Celebrity.

I have this dream life where I get to be a celebrity but I get to navigate the world fairly easily because I'm always in character.

People are people. All that celebrity tagging doesn't bother me at all.

Celebrity distorts democracy by giving the rich, beautiful, and famous more authority than they deserve.