We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me.

The big battle at the end of DW isn't drawn from history, but it's influenced by history, certainly.

I didn't know at the time that the energy that I was giving off was like a battle Emcee.

It will always be a battle a day between those who want maximum change and those who want to maintain the status quo.

The legal battle against segregation is won, but the community battle goes on.

That a great battle must soon be fought no one could doubt; but, in the apparent and perhaps real absence of plan on the part of Lee, it was impossible to foretell the precise scene of the encounter.

Our brave soldiers and support personnel are engaged in a battle as important as any the United States has ever before waged, for the success of democracy in Iraq is a crucial test of the ideals this Nation was founded upon.

The anguish of the neurotic individual is the same as that of the saint. The neurotic, the saint are engaged in the same battle. Their blood flows from similar wounds. But the first one gasps and the other one gives.

There is no French town in which the wounds inflicted on the battle-field are not bleeding.

Politics is about winning. If you don't win, you don't get to put your principles into practice. Therefore, find a way to win, or sit the battle out.

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.

Christianity is a battle not a dream.

Our main battle has always been against Israeli soldiers and Jewish settlers.

From each one of them rose separate columns of smoke, meeting in a pall overhead, and through the smoke came stabbing flashes of fire as German shells burst with thudding shocks of sound. This was the front line of battle.

As long as justice and injustice have not terminated their ever renewing fight for ascendancy in the affairs of mankind, human beings must be willing, when need is, to do battle for the one against the other.

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.

No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.

During the past few years I have led a sometimes hard battle for German foreign policy.

We don't consider the battle has ended in Afghanistan... The battle has begun and its fires are picking up. These fires will reach the White House, because it is the center of injustice and tyranny.

Usually in a battle sequence when a bomb is going off, you forget you're acting.

And then there's all these other creeps that surround your band and suck off you like leeches and try to manipulate you and your business. You have to watch like a hawk. I'm always ready to fight. I see it very much as a battle.

When a battle for suffrage is conducted, it should only be conducted according to socialist principles, and therefore with the demand of universal suffrage for women and men.

I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.

Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country.

Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle.

A man should never put on his best trousers when he goes out to battle for freedom and truth.

I really enjoyed the last scene at the Ewok celebration after the battle.

In the Muslim world, there are many people who have been vocal and we have been very vocal against extremists. But how to win this battle is an ongoing battle. And we must continue to wage the battle for peace.

We must wake up to the insane reality of our time. We are all irresponsible, unless we demand from the responsible decision makers that modern armaments must no longer be made available to people whose former battle axes and swords our ancestors condemned.

The battle for women's rights has been largely won.

Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.

Marriage is like life - it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses.