I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

Health food makes me sick.

As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.

I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.

I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.

I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.

There's always a source for humor.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.

What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.

When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.

When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.

With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.

They who love dancing too much seem to have more brains in their feet than in their head.

Basically, right before college I got into the Guinness book for my feet and started to do local commercials and little radio spots, just little things and found I really liked it.

My feet are like gnarled old tree branches.

The men are walking. They are fifty feet apart, for dispersal. Their walk is slow, for they are dead weary, as you can tell even when looking at them from behind. Every line and sag of their bodies speaks their inhuman exhaustion.

My feet are dogs.

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.

A beautiful line of verse has twelve feet, and two wings.

My feet never touched the ground. Lots of good groups with crazy and unique images. It was wild. I spent all of my time doing gigs, TV appearances, interviews, or recording. I could write a book - and probably will.

My sister and I are opposites in many ways. She is six feet tall, while I'm five feet four.

In the 1950s in Columbia, South Carolina, it was considered OK for kids to play with weird things. We could go to the hardware store and buy 100 feet of dynamite fuse.

St Michaels Mount is a favourite place of mine; people will walk across to the Mount all day and assume they will be able to walk home. The spectacle of hundreds of people realising that the path they walked over on is disappearing under several feet of water is very amusing.

I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal.

I wouldn't want the pressure of a Six Feet Under or the pressure of improvising like Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Although there exist many thousand subjects for elegant conversation, there are persons who cannot meet a cripple without talking about feet.

I think the secret of my light, quick, foot strike is related to the fact that I have fragile feet.

I'm convinced that the man who has learned to meditate upon the Lord will be able to run on his feet and walk in his spirit. Although he may be hurried by his vocation, that's not the issue. The issue is how fast his spirit is going. To slow it down takes a period of time.

When we too are armed and trained, we can convince men that we have hands, feet, and a heart like yours;.

Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.

Riding a motorcycle on today's highways, you have to ride in a very defensive manner. You have to be a good rider and you have to have both hands and both feet on the controls at all times.

He had one uniform practice, and a very bad one it was, during the time of family worship, and just three or four seconds before the conclusion of the prayer, he started to his feet, and ran barking round the apartment like a crazed beast.