The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

Health food makes me sick.

As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.

I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.

I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.

I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.

There's always a source for humor.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.

What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.

When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.

When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.

With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.

Beauty, like truth, is relative to the time when one lives and to the individual who can grasp it. The expression of beauty is in direct ratio to the power of conception the artist has acquired.

Feminism is hated because women are hated. Anti-feminism is a direct expression of misogyny; it is the political defense of women hating.

Control of vibrato helps your musical expression.

Art is an expression of who you are. Parts that I play are my sculptures.

If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature.

The early expression of my youth was filled with all the aspects of art.

In America it's live by the sword of freedom of expression and be will to die by it as well.

Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

I think they saw me as something like a deliverer, a way out. My means of expression, my music, was a way in which a lot of people wished they could express themselves and couldn't.

Simplicity is the glory of expression.

Nothing is so silly as the expression of a man who is being complimented.

Until fighting ends and there are conditions, which allow the free expression of will by the people, there can be no elections and elections are not held in these circumstances anywhere in the world.

The modes of expression of men of genius differ as much as their souls, and it is impossible to say that in some among them, drawing and color are better or worse than in others.

The eye of genius has always a plaintive expression, and its natural language is pathos.

It is in literature that the concrete outlook of humanity receives its expression.

Well-timed silence is the most commanding expression.

Every gesture is a gesture from the blood, every expression a symbolic utterance... Everything is of the blood, of the senses.

But please know, whether you believe campaign contributions are speech or property, that I learned to love very dearly the right of free expression when I lived without that freedom for a while a long time ago.

Singing has always seemed to me the most perfect means of expression. It is so spontaneous. And after singing, I think the violin. Since I cannot sing, I paint.