I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

It's so crazy in Hollywood.

To be famous and broke is hard.

It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

I have no detectable hair style.

Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'

My career is just kind of crazy.

It's funny because it's funny.

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

I never dated much in high school or college.

I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.

I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.

It's hard to have a career.

Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

Single guys get a bad rap.

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You know, you want to pull in a wide audience.

Theres always something funny about men chasing women.

People are not perfect... very often the relationships that are strongest are those where people have worked through big crises, but they've had to work through them. So the challenge to us is to work through that.

How strange it is that murder has the sanction of law in one and only one of the human relationships, and that is the most important of all, that of nation to nation.

I've had a couple of long relationships. And I've had a couple of shorter relationships.

I'm very excited to see where the characters and their relationships go. But in the end, it really boils down to the people who have more power than me, who control the money.

I'll miss the relationships I have built with these actors. I'll miss the devotion we have to this work. Over this length of time, the tendency is to think it will never end.

You can have all sorts of relationships, but there's something with musicians working together where you can have relationship that can just continue to grow in a beautiful way.

It's so hard to have relationships when there is so much scrutiny.

I think I am too interested in my own ideas to copy anyone else's, but I find that other people's imagery, the flow of language in the outside world, games with words, and ideas about relationships are all most important to me.

You have to stick out the toughness of the business and form relationships with the people in it.

When the Negro cries with pain from his deep hurt and lays his petition for elemental justice before the nation, he is calling upon the American people to kindle about that crucible of race relationships the fires of American faith.

Higher education must lead the march back to the fundamentals of human relationships, to the old discovery that is ever new, that man does not live by bread alone.

The whole thing about making films in an organic film on location is that it's not all about characters, relationships and themes, it's also about place and the poetry of place. It's about the spirit of what you find, the accidents of what you stumble across.

Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships.

Call it holistic or holographic thinking, it's been quite effective imagining the world's problems are all right in front of you on a smaller scale with your band. You deal with those relationships, and that's where real major change begins.

You know, I think I still have a sense that no matter what you do, no matter what you achieve, no matter how much success you have, no matter how much money you have, relationships are important.

Color is a plastic means of creating intervals... color harmonics produced by special relationships, or tensions. We differentiate now between formal tensions and color tensions, just as we differentiate in music between counterpoint and harmony.

And I maintain good relationships with all the studios so I've never been bullied into any cut, frankly.

This radical transformation of world power relationships reflects primarily in the case of both the USA and the USSR the growth of the productive forces.

I've exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years. For the most part, these communications took place before my marriage, though some have sadly took place after. To be clear, I have never met any of these women or had physical relationships at any time.

The only way you do anything is to become really active. And the most effective way to get your message to your elected representatives is to make campaign contributions and develop relationships with them.

One of the things we want to do is find ways, first, to impress these parents how important it is to have children in a situation where they can respond to them and, second, to bring intergenerational relationships into play.