Flip Wilson

Before you can hit the jackpot, you have to put a coin in the machine.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

Funny is an attitude.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

It's later than it's ever been.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

The devil made me do it.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you dont get sick youre missing half the fun.