When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Before you can hit the jackpot, you have to put a coin in the machine.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

Funny is an attitude.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

It's later than it's ever been.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The devil made me do it.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you dont get sick youre missing half the fun.

If youre creating an entertainment site you want the content to be the star.

Writing is exhilarating, but reading reviews is not. I've been really devastated by 'good' reviews because they misunderstand the project of the book. It can be strangely galvanising to get a 'bad' one.

If I heard somebody else say, 'I worked on a movie for five years', I'd be like, 'What? How could it take that long? What were you doing?'

My whole thing as a performer is to affect people, whether I make you cry or I make you laugh. I would love to make you think.

When I left home after graduating high school, I left as a migrant agricultural worker with a Modern Library edition of Plato in my duffel bag. It sounds kind of crazy, but I loved it. I loved the stuff. Before I knew there was a subject called philosophy, I loved it.

These same people seem to forget that mother also took a lot of chances with the type of roles she played.

I remember playing with some friends and being aware that I was acting as I was playing with them - I would think of a character and pretend to be someone else.

It is morally, politically and socially wrong for business as business or labor as labor to participate directly in politics.

Journalists are accused of being lapdogs when they don't ask the hard questions, but then accused of being rude when they do. Good thing we have tough hides.

The Bible was composed in such a way that as beginners mature its meaning grows with them.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you arent completely embarrassed yet but you glimpse tomorrows embarrassment

I don't want to be considered a leader based on what people think goes on in the clubhouse.

It's nice when you happen into a vegetarian restaurant, but really, you can find veggie food everywhere. Pastas, salads, a vegetable plate - I actually like ordering vegetarian in a meaty place because it gives them a jolt to come up with something and recognize the demand.

What makes a movie now is a package, a brand, a remake or some preexisting material.

Seems like most of the kids today are into other sports other than tennis.

For fitness, I've just bought a watch which keeps a track of how many calories I burn, what's my heart rate, which is very fascinating.

In America, the top 1 percent led the country into war and economic devastation, leaving the less fortunate to fight for one and pay for both.

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

It has long been said the only things in life that are certain are death and taxes. Automatic enrollment for insurance of 401k loans would add an additional certainty. Fewer Americans would suffer the unnecessary loss of retirement savings due to unanticipated and untimely misfortune in an already stressful time of need.

I want to state unequivocally for the world, as well as for the markets, as well as for the American people: I have no doubt that we will not lose the full faith and credit of the United States.

I once called a guy into his own office and spun around in his own chair to greet him. That kind of thing may be why I quit, before I got into serious trouble. I would smile and the person would get so upset. But you do a thousand of those things, and it makes you weird.

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning.

Any good humor is sophomoric. 'Sophomoric' is the liberal word for funny.

I have won many trophies in my time, but nothing will ever top helping win the battle for peace in my country.