It's later than it's ever been.

Before you can hit the jackpot, you have to put a coin in the machine.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

Funny is an attitude.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

It's later than it's ever been.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The devil made me do it.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you dont get sick youre missing half the fun.

Life doesn't stop because something happens to you.

'Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.

There's plenty to criticize about the mass media, but they are the source of regular information about a wide range of topics. You can't duplicate that on blogs.

When you write an album and you're writing about relationships, the stuff that I've been through in my relationships, 99 percent of it is really good, but it's that one percent that always inspires you to write a song.

And what classical music does best and must always do more is to show this kind of transformation of moods to show a very wide psychological voyage. And I think thats something that we as classical musicians have underestimated.

Michael Owen isn't the tallest of lads, but his height more than makes up for that.

I never taught my girls to play golf; they all played softball.

The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.

Keep a cool head and maintain a low profile. Never take the lead but aim to do something big.

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a persons physical emotional and mental states.

I'm still down with Jesus. I like to think of him mostly as a social revolutionary who mixed with bad crowds and hated the rich.

Ironically to my children bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings. Once the lights are out you can expect at least an hour of inmates clanging their tin cups on the cell bars.

I've enjoyed programming on NPR, but 'we're broke' and therefore all spending must be reduced.

Sometimes as an artist you get wrapped up in what you are doing and you can't be objective.

The American Dream is to not have to work, so with unemployment at record levels, you'd think more people would be excited and grateful for the government intervention that got us to this glorious economic point.

Morality's not practical. Morality's a gesture. A complicated gesture learned from books.

Players are artists who create their own reality within the game.

The Obama administration has been trying out a new policy toward Syria since the day it came to office. The Bush cold shoulder was viewed as a primitive reaction, now to be replaced by sophisticated diplomacy. Outreach would substitute for isolation.

Prayer in any form is efficacious because it is an action. It will, therefore, have a result. That is the law of this universe in which we find ourselves.

The country has moved off track. The people in Washington don't have the hard-nosed business experience needed to get the economy up and running.

Standards are always out of date. That's what makes them standards.

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.

I got a kick out of having a big bankroll in my pocket. Even if I only made a couple hundred dollars, I'd always keep it in fives and tens so it'd look big.

You can't put your name, recognition, your money in a company without having share in the control.