Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

Before you can hit the jackpot, you have to put a coin in the machine.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

Funny is an attitude.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

It's later than it's ever been.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The devil made me do it.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you dont get sick youre missing half the fun.

A great social success is a pretty girl who plays her cards as carefully as if she were plain.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

In order to win you must be prepared to lose sometime. And leave one or two cards showing.

You can always make a film somehow. You can beg, borrow, steal the equipment, use credit cards, use your friends' goodwill, wheedle your way into this or that situation. The real problem is, how do you get people to see it once it is made?

I decided that I would be one of the biggest new names; and I actually had some little fancy business cards printed up to announce it, 'Count Basie. Beware, the Count is Here.'

Sometimes a 3-1 favorite loses. That's why they call it gambling, and that's why they keep flipping over the cards.

Google's not a real company. It's a house of cards.

If I'm playing cards for pennies, I want to win.

Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.

Some people with awful cards can be successful because of how they deal with the tragedies they're handed, and that seems courageous to me.

Several times we were stranded in strange places without any money and with our credit cards cancelled - trapped in a hotel that we couldn't check out of because we had no money to check out.

Identity theft involving these cards is a growing form of white collar crime, facilitating illegal immigration, banking and accounting fraud, tax evasion, and other nefarious activities.

You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?

Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.

Social Security Number Cards by themselves were never intended to be personal identity documents because they cannot confirm that a person presenting a card is actually the person whose name appears on the card.

You take the cards you're dealt. I'm now ferociously healthy in body and mind. You couldn't pay me to go near a psychiatrist again. Stopping seeing them was my first step to getting well.

If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people, wrestling is a laughingstock. But fortunately, I'm reaching people who otherwise wouldn't watch it.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Every year the Federal Government wastes billions of dollars as a result of overpayments of government agencies, misuse of government credit cards, abuse of the Federal entitlement programs, and the mismanagement of the Federal bureaucracy.

The only difference between me and others is that they think they can change something with cute little poems, nice cards or embracing trees and being nice to little lapdogs.

The way the credit cards were made in the '80s to be a people's form of capitalism and be able to make it so that you could get a loan that you would have been denied previous, now that's the way stocks are.

In these negotiations we are not a helpless object, although great world powers are involved. We play an active role and try to influence our destiny; we have our own trump cards and we use them.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.

Consular cards were not designed to be identification and no treaty recognizes them as such. Legal travelers, visitors and long-term residents carried passports, visas or green cards for that purpose.

I know people think we drive around in these nice cars and we do whatever we want and our parents will pay our credit cards, but that's not the case. Sure, my parents were generous; I got a nice car at 16, but at 18 I was cut off. I've worked really hard. I opened the store myself.

The bizarre world of cards is a world of pure power politics where rewards and punishments are meted out immediately.

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards.

I like to think I play rugby as it should be played - there are no yellow or red cards in my collection - but I cannot say I'm an angel.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.