It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Modesty is my best quality.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

Try to save something while your salary is small its impossible to save after you begin to earn more.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you dont mind it doesnt matter.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder yes but divorce never.

Give me the fresh air a beautiful partner and a nice round of golf And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

It's not so much knowing when to speak...but when to pause.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.

One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty counsels. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat.

I don't change. The things around me change.

When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star.

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood.

I'm at the point in my career where to be a winner is more important than any individual things.

Look in the mirror. That’s your competition.

I love my job, and I love books. I read anything, including cereal boxes. I care deeply about what people think of my books, and I memorize my reviews. I love to hear from my readers.

If any thing goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons.

Advertising at its worst will be killed by the Internet. And rightly so.

Our overriding goal in restructuring our financial architecture should be that taxpayers never again have to save a failing financial institution.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

Relationships are hard, so you have to know what type of man you want by your side and what their values are, what is important in his life.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

I work hard, and managing an inventory-based business can be extremely stressful. The upside is that, as long as I get my job done, I can take time off pretty much any time I want.

Estimates are that in 2012, more than 32 million books were available - the explosion, thanks to the ease of self-publishing; 2013 could see even more titles grace our virtual bookstores! That means we are going to be awash in covers and titles, plot descriptions and characters.

Quantum theory also tells us that the world is not simply objective; somehow it's something more subtle than that. In some sense it is veiled from us, but it has a structure that we can understand.

I am most thankful to Almighty Providence for mercies received, and determined still to press the case into public notice as a token of gratitude.

If George W. Bush is the kind of person folks might like to have a beer with, John McCain is the guy you pray you don't get seated next to at a dinner party.

The vanity of loving fine clothes and new fashion, and placing value on ourselves by them is one of the most childish pieces of folly.

There are notes between notes, you know.

Worse than not realizing the dreams of your youth, would be to have been young and never dreamed at all.

Nobody else is Tiger Woods. Not on this planet.

There's no other product that changes function like the computer.