Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

I used to go to two movies every week for the Saturday matinee when I was a kid.

I'm a radical, and I always have been.

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

When people write comedy from neutrality, it just gets kind of silly.

You havent lived until youve died in California.

The fact is that you cant have a good relationship with a girl who hasnt settled things with her father.

Be where the acting is. I live in Houston. Dallas is 4 1/2 hours away. I let them know there's no difference.

Well concerning the world records that I did, I think it helps a lot to me, yeah. I think it's a very individual thing because I heard some people say, like, oh I don't like it at all. But I definitely, for me it really made a big difference.

There are many experiments and a great deal of research that can be performed on the station that make a difference in our lives and we are committed to supporting this important vocation.

We started filming in 1993 which was only four years after the fall of communism. The difference in Budapest over the last five years has been remarkable.

The difference between talking on your cell phone while driving and speaking with a passenger is huge. The person on the other end of the cell phone is chattering away, oblivious.

What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.

The difference between a bad artist and a good one is: the bad artist seems to copy a great deal; the good one really does.

I was grateful for the opportunity to make a difference. The political violence really started in 1970-1971. The political difficulties start a little bit beyond that.

I think the human body is beautiful, and I don't really have a huge problem in dealing with it, but it's the context, the environment and what I feel about it that that makes the difference for me.

From my very first day in the Mayor's office, I have worked closely with the Council members who share our vision of a city hall that really protects taxpayers and cares... yes... about the little things that make a big difference in people's lives.

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.

All this is applicable to the intellectual faculties of man. There is a considerable difference between one person and another as regards these faculties, as is well known to philosophers.

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.

The difference between style and fashion is quality.

I used to think that it didn't make any difference how far you ran if you had a good, strong musculoskeletal system and no underlying cardiovascular problems.

The difference between relief pitching when I did it today is simple, there is too much of it. It's one of those cases where more is not necessarily better.

It makes no difference if I burn my bridges behind me - I never retreat.

It is important to nurture any new ideas and initiatives which can make a difference for Africa.

The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.

Do not confuse beauty with beautiful. Beautiful is a human judgment. Beauty is All. The difference is everything.

We must remember that one determined person can make a significant difference, and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history.

It don't make no difference where I go or what happens, so long as I can play the full nine.

We are all Adam's children - it's just the skin that makes all the difference.

I had to tell about my colonic, which expresses the fact why I'm so neat today as opposed to a few years ago. I never knew that the weight made that much difference.

I've always swung the same way. The difference is when I swing and miss, people say, 'He's swinging for the fences.' But when I swing and make contact people say, 'That's a nice swing.' But there's no difference, it's the same swing.

All of us want to have meaning in our lives and want to feel like we're doing something that makes a difference. I believe we're doing that in the Justice Department.

Once the Afghan people vote and they choose their President with direct, secret ballot from all over the country, there will be a lot of difference in this country and a lot of legitimate power to flow with implementation.

It's not what you've got, it's what you use that makes a difference.

Example moves the world more than doctrine. The great exemplars are the poets of action, and it makes little difference whether they be forces for good or forces for evil.

The difference between something good and something great is attention to detail.

There is hardly such a thing as a war in which it makes no difference who wins. Nearly always one side stands more of less for progress, the other side more or less for reaction.

It makes a difference what we choose to experience during sleep. Many of us think of sleep as a chance to get away from it all. But sleep is also a chance to return to the joys of our spiritual heritage - our universal awareness.

There is a real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.