I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I love standup and I haven't given it up.

People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.

You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

I do still get intimidated by certain things.

I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.

I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.

I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.

I have this mistress: show business.

I lived at home till I was 29.

I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

I'm aging, and the world is seeing it.

I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.

When you go to standup, there seems to be a common denominator of some form of need or want for validation from the audience that maybe you were lacking as a kid.

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

When I dance people think Im looking for my keys.

Having children is like living in a frat house nobody sleeps everythings broken and theres a lot of throwing up.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.

I think we all have blocks between us and the best version of ourselves, whether it's shyness, insecurity, anxiety, whether it's a physical block, and the story of a person overcoming that block to their best self. It's truly inspiring because I think all of us are engaged in that every day.

For me, every day is a new thing. I approach each project with a new insecurity, almost like the first project I ever did. And I get the sweats. I go in and start working, I'm not sure where I'm going. If I knew where I was going I wouldn't do it.

It's an old adage that the way to be safe is never to be secure... Each one of us requires the spur of insecurity to force us to do our best.

Bad directors will tell you they absolutely know how to do it, and how it has to happen; there's this insecurity that leads them to feeling like they have to control everything.

The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.

First, his job approval ratings have been trending down for many months, a trend that has accelerated in recent weeks as the war on terrorism has been supplanted in the public's mind by corporate scandals, stock market declines, and a growing sense of economic insecurity.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

I think the elections have gone well, although there is so much insecurity in Iraq. So far during the counting of ballots, there has not been a significant complaint. We have to wait to see what the outcome of the counting is.

Most men are very attached to the idea of being male, and usually experience a lot of fear and insecurity around the idea of being a man. Most women are very identified with their gender, and also experience a tremendous amount of fear and insecurity.

It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity.

It's a bit loose and the people in my group have got other groups. They don't have to have a total allegiance to me. I think that's really a bit weird and showing some weird insecurity.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I'd been around women who put me down, made me feel bad, or said things to fuel my insecurity.

That's why you find a lot of entertainers are insecure, because it's the perfect camouflage for insecurity.