I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.

I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I broke my shoulder instead.

Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.

Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him.

Marty Richards is an angel on Earth. A producer that does what he says he'll do. He helped me greatly.

I went to Sirius Satellite Radio and did my show, Rapping With Rip.

Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!

I went to see Harvey again in Fiddler. Harvey's throat is getting better.

I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.

I've created such a monster.

It could be my downfall, but I don't think it is - Hollywood is run on perception, and if you stray off the path of what you want to do with your career, it's suicide.

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.

Religion kept some of my relatives alive, because it was all they had. If they hadn't had some hope of heaven, some companionship in Jesus, they probably would have committed suicide, their lives were so hellish.

I think suicide is sort of like cancer was 50 years ago. People don't want to talk about it, they don't want to know about it. People are frightened of it, and they don't understand, when actually these issues are medically treatable.

It is matrimonial suicide to be jealous when you have a really good reason.

It wasn't until '94 when I tried to commit suicide that I realized that it wasn't about the money.

In advertising, not to be different is virtual suicide.

I have a suicide impulse.

Anyone who thinks must think of the next war as they would of suicide.

They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.

I saw Suicide in '74 and it was pretty horrifying.

The woman poet must be either a sexless, reclusive eccentric, with nothing to say specifically to women, or a brilliant, tragic, tortured suicide.

So smoking is the perfect way to commit suicide without actually dying. I smoke because it's bad, it's really simple.

The homosexual community has more acceptance in America than it ever has, and the suicide rate is as high as it's always been.

There is something great and terrible about suicide.

Is it hard for the reader to believe that suicides are sometimes committed to forestall the committing of murder? There is no doubt of it. Nor is there any doubt that murder is sometimes committed to avert suicide.

Fame is no sanctuary from the passing of youth... suicide is much easier and more acceptable in Hollywood than growing old gracefully.

The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.

No law can give or take away the choice to commit suicide.

If you don't do it my way, I suggest you commit suicide.

The destructive character lives from the feeling, not that life is worth living, but that suicide is not worth the trouble.

I have friends who've tried suicide many times and haven't succeeded. I myself made an attempt, so I had a connection with that sort of group of people who have tried suicide at one time in their lives.

Suicide is possible, but not probable; hanging, I trust, is even more unlikely; for I hope that, by the time I die, my countrymen will have become civilised enough to abolish capital punishment.

For many centuries, suicides were treated like criminals by the society. That is part of the terrible legacy that has come down into society's method of handling suicide recovery. Now we have to fight off the demons that have been hanging around suicide for centuries.

I have said, with respect to authorization bills, that I do not want the Congress or the country to commit fiscal suicide on the installment plan.

Some day science may have the existence of mankind in power, and the human race can commit suicide by blowing up the world.

Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide?

When God desires to destroy a thing, he entrusts its destruction to the thing itself. Every bad institution of this world ends by suicide.

Recovering from the suicide of a loved one, you need all the help you can get, so I very much recommend a meditation program. The whole picture of how to recover from this has to do with body, mind, and spirit. That's applicable to any kind of depression.

People think that being on Star Trek is career suicide, but it's really just the opposite.

That's the thing about suicide. Try as you might to remember how a person lived his life, you always end up thinking about how he ended it.

The best I can say is that it's better for me to write about despair and darkness than to be incapable of getting off the sofa. It's better to write about suicide than to contemplate it too heavily.

Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder.

On our watch, the conversation with a would-be suicide bomber will not begin with the words, 'You have the right to remain silent.'

The joke of our time is the suicide of intention.

Those who want the Government to regulate matters of the mind and spirit are like men who are so afraid of being murdered that they commit suicide to avoid assassination.

We have been in the territories since 1967. In 2002, we had sometimes three or four suicide attacks every day. We came to the conclusion that it can't continue like that.

Political courage is not political suicide.

The weapon of suicide bombing is so desperate that you aren't even left with the possibility of taking revenge or punishing anyone; the terrorist is killed along with his victims, his blood mixing with theirs.