Back off or the lizard gets it!

The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.

Never trust sheep.

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

Back off or the lizard gets it!

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.

If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.

I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from a crowd - it's a kind of a 'make me laugh' attitude. But when you come out as an improvisor, they realize that they're suggesting everything you do. So they're already invested in the scene, and they actually want it to work.

I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.

I was into sports in high school, but I got kicked out of Richmond High at 17, so I never graduated. However, I still get invites to the class reunions... I don't know that I want to see how everyone looks now.

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

On 'Whose Line,' we had six, seven, eight scenes per show, so everything was pretty quick. And there's a lot of games that we just got tired of, like 'Hats' and 'World's Worst' and 'Hoedown' and stuff.

Every man is rich or poor according to the proportion between his desires and his enjoyments.

Nuclear power is an important part of our domestic fuel mix.

More than 13,000 Malaysians travel to the U.K. to study in British universities every year.

A life-threatening illness or two certainly gives you an awareness of your own mortality. It heightens your sense of gratitude for things that previously, if you've not taken them for granted, you perhaps never appreciated how precious they were. That's almost a platitude, but one has to state the obvious.

Insecurity is a waste of time.

And I used to assemble the family to hear because I thought that they were so good that even from the point of view of enjoyment people shouldn't miss them, and I got every word of his that I could, and I could see by hard argument there was only the one way for it.

We all know that the great memories of our childhood are the little triumphs - it doesn't really matter whether that was in writing, art, on the hockey field or on the football field. It's something that makes you feel - 'I can do this stuff.'

You can't live your life trying to please people. You be courteous and you be respectful, but you've got to do things in the way that you want to do them.

Since this was the first and only series I had ever produced, I was unaware of what the 'Normal' environment was for a studio. I tried to run it as I did in my SF studio.

I think the real free person in society is one that's disciplined. It's the one that can choose; that is the free one.

Well when I was young, when I was very young, when I was a little boy I don't remember the music I heard, but there was an article in the Brooklyn Daily written by my Aunt about how I could choose phonograph records.

I work for one man. His name is Donald Trump. He has told me one thing: 'Secure the border.'

Firefighters don't go on strike.

Even at age 10, I already knew that I was different from most people. My anxiety disorder was still years from being diagnosed, but it affected me quite deeply. I was too afraid to speak out in class, too nervous to make real friends.

Once you start thinking about it in a mercenary frame of mind, then you're finished. You're a joke, because there are too many mercenaries out there already.

There must be love and understanding to betray. Most men havent the wit or the honor for betrayal not to know it when they see it not the stomach to apprehend it as they do it. Most men blind and dumb in their self centeredness dont betray they merely disappoint.

Your face is your calling card, but you're not so famous that you can't go out.

For my first Bollywood movie, 'Ekk Deewana Tha,' my mum also came over because Mumbai was completely new to me, and I'd heard it's a huge city.

With me a change of trouble is as good as a vacation.

We don't get to get swept up, because we have to start over every day at 8 o'clock.

I am a Bolshevik.

I mean, what Fiat had it was not very big, it was something like forty or fifty million dollars, but it's enough to get revolving credit, to get starting away again, the buying of new machinery.