That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.

Never trust sheep.

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

Back off or the lizard gets it!

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.

If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.

I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from a crowd - it's a kind of a 'make me laugh' attitude. But when you come out as an improvisor, they realize that they're suggesting everything you do. So they're already invested in the scene, and they actually want it to work.

I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.

I was into sports in high school, but I got kicked out of Richmond High at 17, so I never graduated. However, I still get invites to the class reunions... I don't know that I want to see how everyone looks now.

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

On 'Whose Line,' we had six, seven, eight scenes per show, so everything was pretty quick. And there's a lot of games that we just got tired of, like 'Hats' and 'World's Worst' and 'Hoedown' and stuff.

The secret of good architecture is having more than meets the eye.

I was taught to be demure, so it was harder for me to learn how to stand up for myself and go, 'What do I want? What are my desires?'

In the '50s, women aspired to dress like their mothers - this polished, controlled, formal way of dressing. Then all of a sudden in the '60s, going into the '70s, they stopped dressing like their mothers.

For me at age 11, I had a pair of binoculars and looked up to the moon, and the moon wasn't just bigger, it was better. There were mountains and valleys and craters and shadows. And it came alive.

Because our homeland and very survival are once more at stake, the American people can't afford to treat this new war against terrorism like they did Vietnam.

I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars.

A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to inspire, to empower. And there are a lot of shows that do that.

When you read a piece of writing that you admire, send a note of thanks to the author.

It is only in grammar that the mighty can be bound by rules made by the humble.

At the heart of drama is conflict.

I think a lot of musicians play for the playback. I mean, that's the joy of recording - you want to hear what you've done and what you've contributed - but never listening to that playback kind of removes the intellectual part of making music, and it removes the tendency to be revisionist.

When you get on stage, you can be anything. You are removed from reality in a way, the real world.

Where humanity is going to find itself in, say, 20, 30, 40, or 50 years would be very difficult to predict, I think. There are moments, of course, when you think that it's going from bad to worse, but there are other moments when you think that human efforts are really flowering into something really fantastic.

Generally speaking, politicians are an odd bunch. They seem to have very thick skins and genuinely don't care what people think. And charm is a very important part of the politician's armoury. I try to resist that kind of charm.

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers; the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul.

We've overmedicated kids. Quite frankly, some of the overmedication of kids are because welfare moms want to get additional benefits, and if they can put them on SSI through maintenance drugs, they can also put them on Social Security disability and get a separate check. That is wrong on every single level.

Right after September 11, 2001, there weren't really any blogs in China, but there were a lot of Chinese chatrooms - and there were a lot of conversations in which Chinese netizens were saying things like, 'served them right.' That was definitely not the official Chinese government policy - which condemned the terrorists.

I've said this before, that, when you're in school and you're the class clown, men are really good at making fun at other people and women are really good at making fun of themselves.

There's not as many people as one would think you can be completely open with.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

When I made 'Who Needs Pictures,' my first album, I had been west of the Mississippi River one time in my life, and that was in fourth grade. We traveled to California for vacation and stayed with some friends of my parents. It was culture shock, and it was different.

I feel like when I was an adolescent, and felt so unworthy of love and so empty, I moved outside of myself.