If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.

Never trust sheep.

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

Back off or the lizard gets it!

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.

If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.

I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from a crowd - it's a kind of a 'make me laugh' attitude. But when you come out as an improvisor, they realize that they're suggesting everything you do. So they're already invested in the scene, and they actually want it to work.

I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.

I was into sports in high school, but I got kicked out of Richmond High at 17, so I never graduated. However, I still get invites to the class reunions... I don't know that I want to see how everyone looks now.

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

On 'Whose Line,' we had six, seven, eight scenes per show, so everything was pretty quick. And there's a lot of games that we just got tired of, like 'Hats' and 'World's Worst' and 'Hoedown' and stuff.

A lot of times black folks look for love in all the wrong places. You're always looking for somebody to love you, be accepted, and there's the insecurities that are even transmitted through rap. Everyone is trying to aim to please too much.

Rap is only one end of a whole spectrum of verbal play and virtuosity. Rap is geared for aural pleasure.

My character is meant to know nothing about rap, and not to like it very much, but I know about it, because my kids make me listen to it. There's some rap I do like very much. I like Eminem, Blackalicious.

I have considered rap music stars, and there is one in my new book, Lovers and Players, and there is also a hip-hop music mogul who I think you will like a lot.

Now I listen to all kinds of music except rap, which all sounds the same to me.

My brother's been producing rap music and hip-hop for maybe 10 years.

As far as anybody in the rap game ever tryin' to assassinate my character, that's impossible. You talkin' about a man who has always walked the walk and talked the talk.

Rap's conscious response to the poverty and oppression of U.S. blacks is like some hideous parody of sixties black pride.

So, rap has that quality, for youth anyway; it's a kind of blues element. It's physical, almost gymnastic. It speaks to you organically. Rap grows out of what young people really are today, not only black youth, but white - everybody.

I got tired of the Ramones around the time I quit and I really got into rap. I thought it was the new punk rock. LL Cool J was my biggest idol.

I don't like rap music at all. I don't think it's music. It's just a beat and rapping.

I like to make music, I like rap music. Even if I'm white, I support that music. If I want to support it or any other white kid wants to support it more power to them.

I want to be able to say that a rap career could be ten albums.

Rap records don't make you feel good no more. Six months after release, it can't come back as a classic.

When you're a little kid, you don't see color, and the fact that my friends were black never crossed my mind. It never became an issue until I was a teenager and started trying to rap.

Violence is a part of America. I don't want to single out rap music. Let's be honest. America's the most violent country in the history of the world, that's just the way it is. We're all affected by it.

Times were changing. Clothes were changing. Morals were changing. We went from romantic loves songs like I used to do to rock 'n roll. Now that has changed to rap. So, there's always a new generation with new music.

Happiness has a bad rap. People say it shouldn't be your goal in life. Oh, yes it should.

A lot of the stuff I've accumulated over the last few years of touring I thought was really interesting. Like sounds, sound bites, and beats even, but they weren't good dance beats they weren't ones anyone would want to rap over or anything.

Say there's a white kid who lives in a nice home, goes to an all-white school, and is pretty much having everything handed to him on a platter - for him to pick up a rap tape is incredible to me, because what that's saying is that he's living a fantasy life of rebellion.

And to turn it into rap wasn't too difficult besides just rhymin' the last words of each line.

When you talk about rap you have to understand that rap is part of the Hip-Hop culture.