I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

In the last couple of years, I guess I've spent six figures on clothes. I figure I spend a lot of time shopping. Eight to ten days a month, I go out and buy. Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm a real clothes whore.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

Everything can be satirized.

I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.

I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

I'm attracted to heartbreakers.

I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.

I've never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.

Nor should we exclude the possibility that Islamic terrorism may begin to make common cause with Western political extremists of the far Left and far Right.

I don't believe we are, because I believe that just as 9/11 was an attack on a very populous area, terrorism also looks to see where you can go and where you're not expected.

As a nation we should commit ourselves not only to the fight against terrorism, but to economic justice, defeat of the AIDS epidemic and vestiges of discriminatory policies of all kinds.

Terrorism, ladies and gentlemen, in my eyes I have a very, very, very simple explanation. Gangs of criminals, killers, used unfortunately by certain governments in the past for political purposes, who are on their own now as gangs.

Democracy is stronger than terrorism, and we will not cower to the terrorists' campaign of fear.

I think unleashing 3,000 smart bombs against the city of Baghdad in the first several days of the war... to me, if those were unleashed against the San Francisco Bay Area, I would call that an act of extreme terrorism.

The Pakistani government under Musharraf is a strong and key player in the global war on terrorism, and their contribution has been second to none.

On September 11 last year international terrorism entered a new dimension.

I found a religion that blended scientific reason with spiritual reality in a unifying faith far removed from the headlines of violence, destruction and terrorism.

When we are reflecting on terrorism we can grieve for many things we do and have done.

Intelligence is our first line of defense against terrorism, and we must improve the collection capabilities and analysis of intelligence to protect the security of the United States and its allies.

And now when we hear that Iran and Iraq plan to cooperate more closely and that a fundamentalist is coming to power in Tehran - a man about whom we cannot be sure that he is absolutely averse to terrorism - it is very worrisome.

While the vast majority of hackers may be disinclined towards violence, it would only take a few to turn cyber terrorism into reality.

If you are talking about terrorism, you need to sit down and understand what is making these people put dynamite around their waists and blow themselves up.

Europe has a long and tragic history of mostly domestic terrorism.

Terrorism is in good part an effective government propaganda; it serves to deflect attention from governmental abuse toward a mostly imagined, highly dangerous outside enemy.

The Constitution is never tested during times of tranquility; it is during times of tension, turmoil, tragedy, trauma, and terrorism that it is sorely tested.

At times one feels that what is being said in the West is that the fact that you are a Muslim predisposes you to this blind, stupid terrorism.

In the face of terrorism, a united front is one of the strongest weapons.

The U.S. government has in recent years fought what it termed wars against AIDs, drug abuse, poverty, illiteracy and terrorism. Each of those wars has budgets, legislation, offices, officials, letterhead - everything necessary in a bureaucracy to tell you something is real.