You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.
Remember what the girls from "Sex and the City" think about being single, get to know what Liz Gilbert thinks about broken hearts or Rainer Maria Rilke and Jo Courdert tell you about the relationship to yourself.
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The broader the chess player you are, the easier it is to be competitive, and the same seems to be true of mathematics - if you can find links between different branches of mathematics, it can help you resolve problems. In both mathematics and chess, you study existing theory and use that to go forward.
I maintain my inner beauty by trying to lead a balanced life in general. I try to eat healthy foods, but... that doesn't mean I won't treat myself now and then! I work out almost every day, which gives me more energy and helps me feel stronger. I also try to be a genuinely good person to the people around me.