I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.

Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis of being a twisted character.

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.

I use a Bruce Lee technique: 'The way of no way.' He had the idea that he would learn everything, so that whoever he had to fight, he could improvise anything. The best way of starting a gig is just to not think of anything - to clear your mind, not in an empty Zen state, but more just to go on and see where you go.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.

If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.

In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling.

Because thats what narcissism is all about looking in the mirror everyday and thinking Damn Id like to shag myself.

There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is dead!

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.

But I love New York. I used to set my alarm clock when I was there, and get up at 4am and get a coffee, just because I could.

I like my coffee light.

The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.

A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.

They say you can smoke 400 cigs a day and drink 20 cups of coffee, but you can't have a line or a drink again.

I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.

There is nothing like being left alone again, to walk peacefully with oneself in the woods. To boil one's coffee and fill one's pipe, and to think idly and slowly as one does it.

I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'

When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.

Americans are making coffee a bigger part of their lives, expanding attitudes and behaviors that are driving new levels of consumption.

I can't sit around having coffee. I have all these appointments, and a lot of my friends sit around having coffee talking about the jobs they didn't get.

In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

I was seeing everything through pain. I would roll out of bed and do my exercises. I had to do that to work out the remainder of the pain pills. I would drink coffee and go to the set and plunge myself so far into my work.

When the honour is given to that scientist personally the happiness is sweet indeed. Science is, on the whole, an informal activity, a life of shirt sleeves and coffee served in beakers.

Coffee and cigarettes, that's one of my weaknesses.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions.

Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.