If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.

Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis of being a twisted character.

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.

I use a Bruce Lee technique: 'The way of no way.' He had the idea that he would learn everything, so that whoever he had to fight, he could improvise anything. The best way of starting a gig is just to not think of anything - to clear your mind, not in an empty Zen state, but more just to go on and see where you go.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.

If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.

In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling.

Because thats what narcissism is all about looking in the mirror everyday and thinking Damn Id like to shag myself.

There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is dead!

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.

I have some close friends I keep in touch with. I knit. I watch a little too much TV. I ski, if the weather's right for that. If I can find a group of buddies, I go rock climbing.

Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, Robert Lincoln bought a nice ski lodge.

Ski racing, especially downhill, is a dangerous activity and there are many accidents. It would be really too bad to lose everything because of a crash.

I remember feeling that technology was like trying to draw with your foot. In a ski boot. It was the most indirect way to work imaginable, but the potential had us all excited. I started in stop motion.

I'd be nervous about skiing, wondering what I'd do if I felt shaky on top of a mountain; but other diabetics do ski, so there's no reason I couldn't.

It's good to ski for fun, but I still want to win races as often as possible.

As the time goes by, you change, your learn new things, your attitude is different. For the moment, I'm still enjoying ski racing so much that it would be difficult for me to think about ending my career.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

The best indication is that I still love to ski on most anything, from skating gear to heavy metal.

There is no pressure on me, I can take a lot of risks in the coming weeks. I feel free to ski the way I decide on race-day because the overall title was not my main target this winter.

I don't look at it like that's my rival and I have to beat her. It's more like, I have to ski this as fast as I can and the fastest of everyone out here and that's what I expect.

I donate money to the existing foundation that funds the US Ski Team kids.

In Ski Party we are reading up on how to have fun without sex. That was the theme of every AIP picture!

I was something of a prankster. One time I put a ski mask on my head and used a fake gun on the school secretary so that I could get some of my friends out of detention.

When you back off, it's easier to do mistakes. For me it's better to ski fast.

I think what it takes to succeed remains the same. You have to have a real love of your sport to carry you through all the bad times, you still want to go ski even when things aren't working. You must have a commitment to work hard and to never give up.

We're not necessarily the ski boat, we're the skier. There are countries like Japan and Korea and others who are the ski boat at this point, but we're getting pulled right behind them.

Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters.

I just sold a farm in Missouri, and I own a ski lodge in Colorado with some Honolulu partners.