They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.

Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis of being a twisted character.

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.

I use a Bruce Lee technique: 'The way of no way.' He had the idea that he would learn everything, so that whoever he had to fight, he could improvise anything. The best way of starting a gig is just to not think of anything - to clear your mind, not in an empty Zen state, but more just to go on and see where you go.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.

If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.

In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling.

Because thats what narcissism is all about looking in the mirror everyday and thinking Damn Id like to shag myself.

There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is dead!

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.

Cycling is the only way to free ourselves from the misery of the Tube, the wall-to-wall buses that line Oxford Street, the hopelessness of even thinking about driving.

The finer the nature, the more flaws it will show through the clearness of it; and it is a law of this universe that the best things shall be seldomest seen in their best form.

Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: It must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.

What I always try to do is make the political personal.

From reading over the notes for each session it was apparent that there had been improvement by more or less regular steps from almost complete terror at sight of the rabbit to a completely positive response with no signs of disturbance.

You want to reach people, but you also want to reach them in the most authentic way. You now have a mass market and an audience that's listening, but they're in love with a song that means absolutely nothing to you.

I make no apologies for the fact that I have a religious life of my own. I'm speaking as a Christian because I'm speaking as myself.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

What is generally referred to as American-style films are, in fact, studio productions.

Courtesy is the one coin you can never have too much of or be stingy with.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

I am a Zionist, an ardent supporter of Israel, its defender when I deem Israel to be right and its critic when I deem it to be wrong.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly; it's dearness only that gives everthing its value.

I was 15, and the years of hard swimming had packed muscle on my frame and made me very strong. Not as strong as a football player, but strong enough to inflict heavy damage.

If you're a short-seller, that's a cacophony of negative reinforcement. You're basically told that you're wrong in every way imaginable every day. It takes a certain type of individual to drown that noise and negative reinforcement out and to remind oneself that their work is accurate and what they're hearing is not.

I went to England in the '70s, and I was in my early 20s. There was still a residue of that era of being an underclass or colonial. I assume it must have been a more aggressive and prominent attitude 40 years before that, because Australia internationally wasn't regarded as having much cultural value. We were a country full of sheep and convicts.

Once you lose the honesty in a relationship, I mean, I think you don't have a relationship at all.

To waste and destroy our natural resources to skin and exhaust the land instead of using it so as to increase its usefulness will result in undermining in the days of our children the very prosperity which we ought by right to hand down to them.