My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president and anyone who doesnt grow up can be vice president.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it wont hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world and people keep sending it to each other.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

In Hollywood if you dont have a shrink people think youre crazy.

Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved.

Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.

Natural resources are so vast that no single individual or business is going to protect them; they don't have an incentive to.

The bronze powder business, however, no longer required my personal attention, and was well managed by those I had chosen as the guardians of a secret, which was long and honourably kept.

I have done things politically, and I've been running a business at the same time, but I sort of joke that to some extent I do more than most legislators have done in their whole careers, and I've been doing it as a part-time job.

Howard Hughes himself was a regular at the restaurant, and in a way it became his headquarters, too. Howard had recently relocated to Las Vegas, so when he wanted to do business in Los Angeles, he went into the back of our restaurant to use the telephone.

Prosperous farmers mean more employment, more prosperity for the workers and the business men of every industrial area in the whole country.

My parents were amazing people who had no business being together - and they knew it.

We mean by "politics" the people's business - the most important business there is.

Slovakia's joining the OECD in 1999 is totally dependent on meeting economic reforms required such as transparency and legislation that permits fair and open conduct of trade and business.

The way the business things work in Russia is you have to meet people, you have to go through a certain amount of etiquette and business things are done just simply by a shake of the hand and whether they like you or not.

I make no claim to being a business genius. You can make so much money in this business that it loses its value.

It costs a great deal of money to do a musical, and the more money involved, the more big business influences the artform.

It's a very hard and competitive business in which you have to fight every day in order to impose yourself.

I know the history of the record business so well because I followed Billie Holiday into the record studios. It was so primitive compared to the sophisticated business today.

Chicago kept industry, attracted new business, became the center for convention trade and transportation.