Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

Work is much more fun than fun.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

Passion in a dromedary doesnt go so deep a camel when its mating never sobs itself to sleep.

Its discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact elephants often consult me.

If you must have motivation think of your paycheck on Friday.

For gin in cruel sober truth supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.

Nor should we exclude the possibility that Islamic terrorism may begin to make common cause with Western political extremists of the far Left and far Right.

In addressing a task, one almost always has several possible options, sometimes only a few, and they may all be practical and functional. But they lack the aesthetic aspect that raises it to architecture.

All enterprises that are entered into with indiscreet zeal may be pursued with great vigor at first, but are sure to collapse in the end.

Entropy theory is indeed a first attempt to deal with global form; but it has not been dealing with structure. All it says is that a large sum of elements may have properties not found in a smaller sample of them.

Journeys, like artists, are born and not made. A thousand differing circumstances contribute to them, few of them willed or determined by the will-whatever we may think.

The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life and one is as good as the other.

We're all like children. We may think we grow up, but to me, being grown up is death, stopping thinking, trying to find out things, going on learning.

That a peasant may become king does not render the kingdom democratic.

This means that to entrust to science - or to deliberate control according to scientific principles - more than scientific method can achieve may have deplorable effects.

It may be shocking to some people in this country to realize that, without meaning to do so, they hold views in common with Hitler when they preach discrimination against other religious, racial or economic groups.

A man may be in as just possession of truth as of a city, and yet be forced to surrender.

In relation to a writer, most readers believe in the Double Standard: they may be unfaithful to him as often as they like, but he must never, never be unfaithful to them.

Lives of great men oft remind us as we o'er their pages turn, That we too may leave behind us - Letters that we ought to burn.