I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

Work is much more fun than fun.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

Passion in a dromedary doesnt go so deep a camel when its mating never sobs itself to sleep.

Its discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact elephants often consult me.

If you must have motivation think of your paycheck on Friday.

For gin in cruel sober truth supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.

I'm getting a wider circle of fans now. More women, more middle class people.

The best thanks we could offer those who went before and raised the Irish working class from their knees was to press forward with determination and enthusiasm towards the ultimate goal of their efforts, a Co-operative Commonwealth for Ireland.

Make no mistake: The organization of the working class must be both economic and political. The capitalist is organized upon both lines. You must attack him on both.

In economic panics throughout history, the wiping out of the savings accounts of lower earners and the middle class has often led to social revolution, sometimes violent upheavals.

It is the tendency of the social burdens to crush out the middle class, and to force society into an organization of only two classes, one at each social extreme.

I once said, "We will bury you," and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.

I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic.

I grew up in Michigan, in a very small town, Centreville. In my graduating class, I had like 92 people.

These interests of the workers, as the exploited and oppressed, class of society, are the same in all countries.

We need to work together, on a bipartisan basis, to create new jobs, increase job training, enact real and substantive middle class tax relief, and reward companies that create jobs at home.

At one point in college I was so shy that I'd drop out of a class if asked to speak in front of other people.

I recommend the same therapies for all humans with HIV. There is no reason to believe that physiologic responses to therapy will vary across lines of class, culture, race or nationality.

After some minor pieces of theoretical study that I worked on, a student in my statistical mechanics class brought to my attention a problem in polyelectrolytes.