Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

It's all in the mind, you know.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Driver Shepherd and I had been detailed to drive Lt. Budden in the Wireless Truck. We had been standing by vehicles for an hour, and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently.

Is the modern social pattern of unending change and movement the cause of two modern diseases, insecurity and dissatisfaction? How lucky Thomas Hood was to be able to write, 'I remember, I remember the house where I was born.' I don't even know what mine looked like!

Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too.

The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it. It was, as Yeats remarked of the Easter Rising, 'A terrible beauty.'

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it.

We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone was cheating.

Im a hero with cowards legs.

My father had a profound influence on me he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me he was a lunatic.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

Rugby is a game for big buggers. if you're not a big bugger, you get hurt. I wasn't a big bugger but i was a fast bugger and therefore I avoided the big buggers.

The difference between camels and men a camel can work a week and not drink a man can drink a week and not work.

Ronald Reagan knew audiences. It was a key element of his political genius. One of the things at which brilliant politicians are better than mediocre ones is smelling new public concerns over the horizon before they are picked up by polls - before the public even knows to call them 'issues' at all.

We can't legislate the creation of jobs, but we can legislate things that will allow jobs to be created.

If the gentleman has ability, he is magnanimous, generous, tolerant, and straightforward, through which he opens the way to instruct others.

I was more of a dancing kid than a singing kid. I mean, I sang in school choirs and I sang in school musicals, but I was much more interested in dancing than singing.

One thing I can't do, and I hope that there are other people out there that feel the same way, is climb a rope. Oh my gosh, it's so hard to climb rope! It's all about grip and arms.

If you don't like the President, it costs you 90 bucks to fly to Washington to picket. If you don't like the governor, it costs you 60 bucks to fly to Albany to picket. If you don't like me - 90 cents.

We are confronting a situation in which the Administration, in my view, is once again manufacturing a crisis. There is no crisis in the Social Security system. The system is not on the verge of bankruptcy.

Photography is truth. The cinema is truth twenty-four times per second.

I'm extremely straightforward. And I can't do that sort of traditional girl thing of saying one thing that actually means something else. I never understood it, and I still don't understand it.

The Reformation did not directly touch the question of the true character of God's church.

To say what you feel is to dig your own grave.

If there is a transmigration of souls then I am not yet on the bottom rung. My life is a hesitation before birth.

To know that one has a secret is to know half the secret itself.

Talent alone is not enough. I believe that a really good gymnast is 10 inspiration and 90 perspiration.

I've got a feeling that music might not be the most interesting place to be in the world of things.

Merely implying bias due to a judge's ethnic heritage is wrong as a matter of principle and legally illegitimate.