My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

It's all in the mind, you know.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Driver Shepherd and I had been detailed to drive Lt. Budden in the Wireless Truck. We had been standing by vehicles for an hour, and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently.

Is the modern social pattern of unending change and movement the cause of two modern diseases, insecurity and dissatisfaction? How lucky Thomas Hood was to be able to write, 'I remember, I remember the house where I was born.' I don't even know what mine looked like!

Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too.

The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it. It was, as Yeats remarked of the Easter Rising, 'A terrible beauty.'

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it.

We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone was cheating.

Im a hero with cowards legs.

My father had a profound influence on me he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me he was a lunatic.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

Rugby is a game for big buggers. if you're not a big bugger, you get hurt. I wasn't a big bugger but i was a fast bugger and therefore I avoided the big buggers.

When he was twenty-three or twenty-four my father began to learn German and read philosophy in his spare hours, which did not look as though he were destined to remain long on board ship!

My father was often angry when I was most like him.

Arnold Bennett was a writer I admired. He was actually taking notes at his father's deathbed.

Most fathers don't see the war within the daughter, her struggles with conflicting images of the idealized and flawed father, her temptation both to retreat to Daddy's lap and protection and to push out of his embrace to that of beau and the world beyond home.

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess.

My father was a police officer before he retired. One of my brothers is also a police officer, and I think they kind of expected I would do something along those lines, like become a fireman or something.

The fame aspect of winning the Masters... besides being married and becoming a father, that's a strong third there.

I'd rather be David Ladd's father than Alan Ladd any day.

I hated Chris, my brother. I would pull his hair and kick him, until one day my father gave him permission to fight back. I'll be apologizing to him for the rest of my life.

Being a father, well, I don't know if this is a change, but it makes me want to get out of here faster. Get off the clock. Just 'cause the baby is my reason for living, my reason for coming to work.

I would not be gotten into a schoolhouse until I was eight years old. Nor did I accomplish much after I started. I doubt if I had gone to school six months in all when my father died. I was fourteen at the time.

Therefore, I do not wish to consider any proposition to cede any portion of our tribal holdings to the Great Father.

My father was an agnostic.

My father taught me that the only way you can make good at anything is to practice, and then practice some more.

I want to be a soldier as my father was.

Theses officers were good friends, so it must have been a terrible argument, because the one who played chess with my father was so angry that he walked over to the dentist's house and got the dentist out of bed and shot him.

My father started me singing in church.