You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The good die young because they see its no use living if youve got to be good.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didnt know you left open.

In Genesis it says that it is not good for a man to be alone but sometimes it is a great relief.

Dying is the last thing I will ever do.

You never realize how short a month is until you have to pay alimony.

A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

I haven't made up my mind about doing anymore Landover books.

Being called 'conscious' is a great thing to be, but it's the connotations and preconceived notions that come with the buying audience about what conscious music can be.

In the days and months I spent walking through the various communities of this city, I found that Chicago did not work for everyone, however.

The biggest thing for me is earning the respect of my fellow players and coaches. I think that is why I was a little bit emotional. You don't get a haka done to you from the brothers for no reason if they don't respect you.

As far as superhero stories, what's appealing is of course that aspect of wish fulfillment. I mean, you start out reading them as a kid, and a couple things jump out at you - there are heroes out there, and you wish you could run into a phone booth and change your life, or be like Peter Parker and put on a mask and become a hero.

I mean, honestly, we have to be clear that the life for many Afghan women is not that much different than it was a hundred years ago, 200 years ago. The country has lived with so much violence and conflict that many people, men and women, just want it to be over.

On my show, I'm definitely the youngest one. So going from a show where everyone is over 30, to the movie, where everyone was like 20, 25, it was like summer camp.

Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.

I might wear a dinner jacket once a year to our Oscar party - that's a big thing - but I don't go to parties. I'm social but I'm not a socialite person.

My mother was actually born in Ohio but raised in West Virginia where her family had a laundry. She has a West Virginian accent. My father was born in China, but he's the son of an American citizen. My paternal grandfather was born in San Francisco in 1867.

The hours we pass with happy prospects in view are more pleasing than those crowded with fruition.

What I've learned is there's a scientifically proven phenomenon that's attached to gratitude, and that if you consciously take note of what is good in your life, quantifiable benefits happen.

Bigotry is the disease of ignorance of morbid minds enthusiasm of the free and buoyant. education and free discussion are the antidotes of both.

For the state by its nature claims sovereignty, the right to an unlimited development of power, determined only by self-interest. It is by nature anarchistic.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll eat forever.

If I find anything vintage, I'll have it tailored for my body.

I feel like I get drawn to - and I know it sounds cheesy but - I love storytelling.

I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.

My goal is to make fine art, and fine art comes from the soul. If you have virtuosity and facility, you can take and create something of significance.

There is no substitute for accurate knowledge. Know yourself, know your business, know your men.

It wasn't a secret that I was gay. I'd come out to my parents during my junior year of high school, on the day that I also wrecked the family car.