My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The good die young because they see its no use living if youve got to be good.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didnt know you left open.

In Genesis it says that it is not good for a man to be alone but sometimes it is a great relief.

Dying is the last thing I will ever do.

You never realize how short a month is until you have to pay alimony.

A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

Being a publicist is like management in a lot of ways - you're their friend, you're their mother, you're their confidante.

My mother keeps things in perspective for me. She makes me realize that the acting I do and love is no more important than what one of my brothers does-he works in a shoe repair shop. If my career ever tapers off, I'll go to college.

Bambi has a profound effect on children because it's about losing your mother.

For those whose wit becomes the mother of villainy, those it educates to be evil in all things.

I never turned down a mother role.

I'd like to one day play Amanda, the mother, in The Glass Menagerie.

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess.

I loved my mother, she's a good girl.

A man is free to go up as high as he can reach up to; but I, with all my style and pep, can't get a man my equal because a girl is always judged by her mother.

Just as a mother finds pleasure in taking her little child on her lap, there to feed and caress him, in like manner our loving God shows His fondness for His beloved souls who have given themselves entirely to Him and have placed all their hope in His goodness.

Well ironically my last three roles have all been a mother. One was a Canadian film where the baby was taken away because she is a drug addict, in Irish Jam I play a mother to a four year old. I think in the future I'll be able to handle the role with a lot more depth.

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.

During my grief, I realised there was nothing I could do for my mother, but I did have a child.

That's so different in Hong Kong when I'm using my own mother language, I can treat the line in one thousand different ways, with many different reactions.

I am scared of becoming a mother.

My mother liked Jim Reeves. I hated his records. He was unbearable.

The eyebrow pencil and false eyelashes were essential; my mother didn't feel dressed without them.

When I was 13 I asked my mother if it was possible for this to end - I'd had enough of it. And that was right about the time that we got a call for "The Exorcist" interview.

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.

I think it's time to do clean-up for a generation. I believe this is one of the movies that hits home for all colors and all races. Everybody I talk to, black or white, suburban, rich or poor, can relate to rejection, can relate to not having a father or a mother.

Write verse, not poetry. The public wants verse. If you have a talent for poetry, then don't by any means mother it, but try your hand at verse.