A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

As much as it hurts I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

We don't have a lot of Reagan-type leaders in our party. Remember Ronald Reagan Democrats? I want a Republican that can attract Democrats.

One of the great joys this year and the year before has been how all of the people in this body, men and women, Republicans and Democrats, have worked together so well with our chairman and the chairman of the full committee to address the issues of housing for our soldiers.

Contrast that with the call of the Liberal Democrats in April, when they were prepared to call upon the British people to participate in a 24-hour strike. It shows how far to the right the Labour Party's gone.

I think Democrats keep the commandments of the Lord more.

I think it is important to ask ourselves as citizens, not as Democrats attacking the administration, but as citizens, whether a world power can really provide global leadership on the basis of fear and anxiety?

The American people are screaming at the top of their lungs to Washington, 'Stop! Stop the spending, stop the job-killing policies.' And yet, Democrats in Washington refuse to listen to the American people.

Welfare reform happened with reconciliation; half the Democrats voted for it. The Bush tax cuts happened with reconciliation; twelve Democratic Senators voted for it. You didn't have a real partisan issue on those times that it was used.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

Democrats have laid out a program that, if adopted, would make us independent of Middle Eastern oil in ten years, and create a new economy especially for those in rural America. Our program invests in clean energy alternatives and provides energy assistance for those in need.

Real Democrats don't make promises they can't keep.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

I welcome the Democrats' ideas on Social Security. I think it is very important to make a bipartisan reform.

Democrats are not about to nominate anyone who backs the tax cut, and Americans are not going to elect anyone who favors a tax increase.

We're going to march on Washington with a host of Republicans, Democrats, business leaders, legislators.

And I want to be able to - you know, make Republicans and Democrats famous for keeping jobs in California.

There's not an appropriations bill in the last 10 years that the-that Democrats passed in the Congress. We haven't spent any money of your taxes in the last decade.

The Senate needs 60 votes to pass anything. They have to compromise with liberal Democrats to spend more money. Even though arguably we have control of the Senate, we really don't.

Anybody who runs for president in this country and comes out as strong as the Democrats were about helping the poor folks and black folks is not going to win.

California is going to be quite good for the Democrats. But the rest of the country is a draw.

The Democrats have no actual policy proposals of their own unless constant carping counts as a policy.

The greatest thing the Democrats have ever done for me was to defeat me for the governor of Tennessee.

The House Democrats don't want Gore humiliated, so they slammed the door of the Capitol in my face. They are cowards.