I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

As much as it hurts I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

There's a tendency, especially among revolutionaries, to only show the good side of yourself and then when you come to power, the bad side comes out.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

My travels have made clear that people across this state - from every political perspective - are looking for a new leader in Albany.

The very winds whispered in soothing accents, and maternal Nature bade me weep no more.

In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work like you are working for the Lord, not for people.

The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Rumors sound of galleries asking artists for upsized art and more of it. I've heard of photographers asked to print larger to increase the wall power and salability of their work. Everything winds up set to maximum in order to feed the beast.

I've seen a bunch of the 'Portlandia' episodes, and they're pretty hilarious.

We never had anybody who froze to death playing football. You probably had somebody who died from heat stroke playing football.

English is necessary as at present original works of science are in English. I believe that in two decades times original works of science will start coming out in our languages. Then we can move over like the Japanese.

The hardest part of playing the trumpet is the physical act of making the sound.

If we are to take for the criterion of truth the majority of suffrages, they ought to be gotten from those philosophic and patriotic citizens who cultivate their reason.

Effectiveness without values is a tool without a purpose.

I had a sore throat for a long time and it scared me. I saw a lump in my throat and I was terrified. I wouldn't go to a doctor.

A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.

Obamacare is a perfect tool to crush free enterprise and force all Americans into a socialist health care system.

You cannot always have good times in your life.

Spices are very hot, very hip. I love spices. I've always loved the Mediterranean flavors.

Starting my business has been very hard work. I have received no help from any officials at all.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

My family were broadminded enough to support me when I wanted to pursue a life in the theatre.