True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

As much as it hurts I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

If you think it's going to rain, it will.

Set religion free, and a new humanity will begin.

Unless the reformer can invent something which substitutes attractive virtues for attractive vices, he will fail.

Every American deserves to live in freedom, to have his or her privacy respected and a chance to go as far as their ability and effort will take them - regardless of race, gender, ethnicity or economic circumstances.

It will take a long time, and certainly the West will remain the dominant civilization well into the next century, but the decline is occurring.

Given a fair wind, we will negotiate our way into the Common Market, head held high, not crawling in. Negotiations? Yes. Unconditional acceptance of whatever terms are offered us? No.

I think I've become a much better singer and a much better player. Years and years of playing a couple of hours every day will do that.

To hard necessity ones will and fancy must conform.

Almost everyone will find something in our services worth paying for.

I frankly don't care if you agree with my stand on abortion. I take that stand because no other stand is consistent with decent principles, and no other standard is consistent with the will of God.

Let us eat and drink neither forgetting death unduly nor remembering it. The Lord hath mercy on whom he will have mercy, etc., and the less we think about it the better.

Journeys, like artists, are born and not made. A thousand differing circumstances contribute to them, few of them willed or determined by the will-whatever we may think.

There are those, I know, who will reply that the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind, is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is. It is the American Dream.

I want to thank all the fans for their support over the years. Keep supporting the Knicks, we're moving in the right direction here and we will be exciting to watch and competing against the best in the NBA. Come back to the Garden for those exciting games.

How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.

And it was only released in London last week, so when I go back to England Monday or whatever, I am expecting heaps of adulation. I'm hoping there is. If that doesn't happen I will be disappointed.

I realize that much will be asked of me, yet I am resolved to accept it as a great and splendid task.

You will never know the feeling of a driver when winning a race. The helmet hides feelings that cannot be understood.

The successful establishment of a buffer zone around Fort Carson will provide an example for other bases around the country as we seek to protect the training mission of the U.S. military while preserving critical habitats on our ranges.

Most bands have a sound that they're already identified with, so for the producer it becomes a process of helping them find their muse in the studio to make a record that will not only satisfy them artistically, but will also do something in the marketplace.

I was lucky enough to occasionally break out of that racist situation that prevails in the Hollywood film production community. But it was racist then and it will always be that way. It will never be otherwise.

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.