Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

As much as it hurts I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally.

I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.

Please do not ask me to talk about my divorce. Mr. Ziegfeld and I are such very good friends. It is only a little matter quite between ourselves.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children. But they remain your co-authors forever.

There's nothing like a family crisis, especially a divorce, to force a person to re-evaluate his life.

Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point. they've thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major.

I'm not saying that people should not divorce, but at the rate at which it happens here is sick. The kids, they suffer. I don't care what anyone says.

With The Key, it was, I had gone through a divorce and losing my father, and just kinda really reminiscing about how much I loved the traditional side of country music, so I made a record that was really traditional from start to finish.

Sometimes divorce is better than marriage.

To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.

The day I initiated divorce proceedings against Michael Farmer, I was ready to retire to a desert cave and rethink my life.

Peace, of course, is different from divorce; indeed, in essential respects, divorce is the opposite of peace.

My parent's divorce and hard times at school, all those things combined to mold me, to make me grow up quicker. And it gave me the drive to pursue my dreams that I wouldn't necessarily have had otherwise.

As soon as she gets her divorce one of us is going to marry her. We don't know which. She is about as beautiful a woman as I ever saw, and very witty and well-informed, but it would cost a good deal to keep her in diamonds.

I believe I went through a divorce. My relationship with Ellen is no less significant as a marriage than my relationship to Coley.

The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population.

Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one.

The ceremony took six minutes. The marriage lasted about the same amount of time though we didn't get a divorce for almost a year.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

The influx of women into paid work and her increased power raise a woman's aspirations and hopes for equal treatment at home. Her lower wage and status at work and the threat of divorce reduce what she presses for and actually expects.