What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

As much as it hurts I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

I hate wasting people's time.

I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally.

You either love or you hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing.

I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker... but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.

I hate the crazy, neurotic characters beyond a certain point.

I hate Stanley Clark, but I have to admit he's playing Jazz whether I like it or not.

In the past I've made movies that were pretty universally liked. You can't really hate them. You can discard them, but you can't really hate them.

In a war, you must hate somebody or love somebody; you must have a position or you cannot stand what goes on.

Listen kid, take my advice, never hate a song that has sold half a million copies.

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

The high point of civilization is that you can hate me and I can hate you but we develop an etiquette that allows us to deal with each other because if we acted solely upon our impulse we'd probably go to war.

I hate leaving home. I love what I do, but I'd love to go home every night.

I hate it when people talk about Buffy as being campy... I hate camp, I don't enjoy dumb TV. I believe Aaron Spelling has single-handedly lowered SAT scores.

When people say 'love to hate', they actually mean 'love to be appalled by' - if they truly hated them, they'd never repeat a catch phrase.

I hate getting bored.

Don't hate the media, become the media.

The middlebrow, I hate.

If a university official's letter accusing a speaker of having a proclivity to commit speech crimes before she's given the speech - which then leads to Facebook postings demanding that Ann Coulter be hurt, a massive riot and a police-ordered cancellation of the speech - is not hate speech, then there is no such thing as hate speech.

We must make it clear that a platform of 'I hate gay men and women' is not a way to become president of the United States.

I'm like an old dog, I hate to be run off from home.

You've got to be taught to hate and fear.

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind - listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody.