Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

As much as it hurts I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

My argument is that charity does indeed start at home, but it doesn't stop there.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

Bugs never bug my head. They are amazing. It is the activities of humans which actually bug me all the time.

You're not going to learn anything if you're not prepared to go flat, so I'm very happy to go flat.

I like 'Rocky Horror.'

Certainly toward the end of the season, you and I could be in a ballpark and they might say the crowd is 30,000, and we could look around and see that there was no more than 10,000.

The smaller newspapers probably won't have any critics at all. Maybe that's not such a bad thing because there's a certain level of seriousness that you can't get with a small newspaper for critics.

Feelings change fast when you're a teenager.

If you take your thumb and your index finger and look right where they meet - go ahead and do that now - and relax your hand, you'll see a crinkle, and then a wrinkle within the crinkle, and a crinkle within the wrinkle. Right? Your body is covered with fractals.

I was a happy kid up until I hit the teen years.

I've always been in the middle of making my own movies, so taking acting jobs that take me away from that has been impossible.

I didn't know anything about writers. It never occurred to me they were regular people and that I could grow up to become one, even though I loved to make up stories inside my head.

Bill Cosby, you know, he's a delightful guy.

My personal experience has been that in my 25 years of writing, I have not been asked to do more than four or five commercial one-shot scripts. These were performed on major national hook-ups but produced for me no immediate additional jobs or requests. One script for BBC was done around the world with an all-star cast.

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But, you can either run from it or learn from it.

Be genuinely curious about things. It’s a great habit to cultivate. It will pay off in dividends.

RNase H is a specific RNase that will cleave the RNA of a DNA/RNA duplex.

I want to write music that's going to appeal to everyone.

Some people come up and say they would like me to play Boba Fett again.

The best project is one that asks a novel question.

You can forgive people who do not follow you through a philosophical disquisition; but to find your wife laughing when you had tears in your eyes, or staring when you were in a fit of laughter, would go some way towards a dissolution of the marriage.