Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word "Chippendales," they don't necessary think of chairs.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Im tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. Thats deep enough. What do you want and adorable pancreas

Im tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. Thats deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Marrying a man is like buying something youve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home but it doesnt always go with everything else in the house.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word Chippendales they dont necessarily think of chairs.

Now the thing about having a baby and I cant be the first person to have noticed this is that thereafter you have it.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze

I think we will have a boy baby and he will be born on the 20th of August. Everyone else has a girl baby and at times I don't believe I should mind having a little Phyllis Dawn but Dearest wants a boy and I do.

In fact I have nightmares about having children. I want to carry a baby and feel the life within me and in my dream, I do. But every time after it's born, there's this incredible fear, this pounding pulse of fear. It's a real bad nightmare.

Being a father, well, I don't know if this is a change, but it makes me want to get out of here faster. Get off the clock. Just 'cause the baby is my reason for living, my reason for coming to work.

Well ironically my last three roles have all been a mother. One was a Canadian film where the baby was taken away because she is a drug addict, in Irish Jam I play a mother to a four year old. I think in the future I'll be able to handle the role with a lot more depth.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

I don't like my hockey sticks touching other sticks, and I don't like them crossing one another, and I kind of have them hidden in the corner. I put baby powder on the ends. I think it's essentially a matter of taking care of what takes care of you.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.

I didn't have any problem bonding with Honey, but I was plagued with insecurities about my ability to bring up my baby.

I got introduced to audiobooks because of having a baby.

I've been chased through airports with a screaming baby because the photographers are ruthless, and they want the picture.

The thing that stood out above and beyond all the experiences was this relationship with the nine-month-old baby. On weekends, I'd be thinking about going back to set on Monday just to see the baby.

But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

I met my wife and, for the next ten years, we did no films at all. She did the first movie and then I did several after. My first movie was written by Tennessee Williams and directed by Kazan and was called Baby Doll.

Yes, I've kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that's it. I don't go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.

Carrying a baby is the most rewarding experience a woman can enjoy.