Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word "Chippendales," they don't necessary think of chairs.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Im tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. Thats deep enough. What do you want and adorable pancreas

Im tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. Thats deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Marrying a man is like buying something youve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home but it doesnt always go with everything else in the house.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word Chippendales they dont necessarily think of chairs.

Now the thing about having a baby and I cant be the first person to have noticed this is that thereafter you have it.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze

I ended up buying a restaurant. Already we had invested in a gas station and a metal products plant.

Whether I'm doing music or I'm walking down the street or I'm in a record store buying a record or I walk into a comic store and I'm buying comics or having a drink with my friends, it's the same me.

But the real focus should be on people who are buying today because the base is so big it will take a long time for any change materialize on an overall basis.

A book worth reading is worth buying.

A surprising number of government committees will make important decisions on fundamental matters with less attention than each individual would give to buying a suit.

I think the big force is going to be consumer buying power.

Programmers and marketing people know how to get into your subconscious - they spend millions of dollars researching colors, shapes, designs, symbols, that affect your preferences, and they can make you feel warm, trusting, like buying. They can manipulate you.

Anyway, in the mid 80's I was spending a fortune buying old Golden Age books from the late 30's and 40's and I was making personal appearances at a lot of sci fi and comic book conventions all around the country here so that I could find books for my collection.

We're constantly buying airplane tickets; we travel on the Concorde.

Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed.

Here is my general approach to the energy companies. You have already charged the utilities a 50 percent credit penalty for the power they were buying from you. You're charging us a penalty. You're not going to get two bites of the apple here.

Recently I've been collecting Star Wars figures again. When I was a kid I couldn't afford them. Now I can so I've been buying them and keeping them in their box for a later date when they'll be worth a lot of money.

I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.

People weren't buying as many records. My record company did not want me. I went through three record companies, went on tour at the wrong time. It destroyed me.

Country fans need to support country music by buying albums and concert tickets for traditional artists or the music will just fade away. And that would be really sad.

I was in Tower Records in San Francisco a few weeks ago, buying some cassettes, and a couple of people recognized me and ran up with albums, and I just wanted to cover my face and have a seizure or something. I want people to just go away.

In the area we're discussing, leadership begins on Madison Avenue, on the desks and in the offices of people who spend hundreds of millions of dollars buying what will get them ratings.