Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

I want to manufacture a feud.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

I have to stay true to myself.

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

Wow. I am really pretentious.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

The oil companies regard nuclear power as their rival, who will reduce their profits, so they put out a lot of disinformation about nuclear power.

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.

In addition, each barrel of oil we save through conservation further decreases our dangerous reliance on unstable Middle East oil.

The Arab-Israeli conflict is also in many ways a conflict about status: it's a war between two peoples who feel deeply humiliated by the other, who want the other to respect them. Battles over status can be even more intractable than those over land or water or oil.

If a war started, the oil price probably would go up, as you said, maybe $5, $6 a barrel until you saw other oil from the extra supplies that are available elsewhere coming into the world, into the market.

In 1979 I teamed up with my friend and business partner, Bill DeWitt, and together we formed an oil and gas company that invested through limited partnerships in oil and gas exploration.

What is the first thing we did when we took control of Iraq? Protect the oil fields. Remember the administration quote about how the oil would pay for the war.

The President's announcement sounded less like a national energy plan than like a page from an election-year play book. This Administration's plan to reduce obscene oil company profits is to regulate them less.

I'm fighting for small businesses. I'm not fighting for big oil. Don't be confused. And there are thousands of businesses in this state that are at great risk. Meanwhile, the country keeps guzzling the oil, but we're out of work down here. We need to get back to work to build this region, and we intend to do so.

The confusing thing, I thought, was that most of America already knew that we were overly reliant on oil, especially on foreign oil. But it was news that this administration had begun to at least acknowledge that problem.

If you don't have a refinery operating, it's hard to use oil that's available.

If the United States is to protect itself from the economic and the political threats created by this excessive dependence, we must reduce our reliance on foreign energy sources and on foreign oil as quickly and as efficiently as possible.

No one really wants to send their kids off to die for oil.

The star of oil and vinegar and the oil and vinegar of the stars.

Democrats have laid out a program that, if adopted, would make us independent of Middle Eastern oil in ten years, and create a new economy especially for those in rural America. Our program invests in clean energy alternatives and provides energy assistance for those in need.

So we are now still dependent on foreign oil, have a problem with global warming, and are losing jobs rapidly to the Japanese in fuel-efficient vehicles as a result of that very shortsighted progress.

We must have a relentless commitment to producing a meaningful, comprehensive energy package aimed at conservation, alleviating the burden of energy prices on consumers, decreasing our country's dependency on foreign oil, and increasing electricity grid reliability.