I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

I want to manufacture a feud.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

I have to stay true to myself.

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

Wow. I am really pretentious.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

As governor, I want to make sure that Arizona's hardworking taxpayers get to keep more of what they earn.

True reconciliation does not consist in merely forgetting the past.

We need a proper balance between government spending on nursing homes and nursery schools - on the last six months of life and the first six months of life.

Good neighbors always spy on you to make sure you are doing well.

While I take inspiration from the past, like most Americans, I live for the future.

Life and death have been lacking in my life.

I always loved all kinds of music. I would watch musicals a lot as a kid, on TV, watch the Fred Astaire movies. I'd watch 'The Wizard of Oz.' I was a big Jerry Lewis fan, and they'd have these big bands and someone singing - some siren, or some guy singing some gorgeous song. I was always enamored of that style of music.

When I was a kid, my first dream was to play Test matches, and the second one was to play 100 Test matches because there are very few people who have played 100 Tests for India.

You know those Navy SEALs, they weren't Democrats and Republicans. They were just doing what was best for America. Wouldn't that be a great country if all of you Americans were just like that? You followed orders, you marched in step and you followed my agenda.

I need complete silence when I write.

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most it is the honest man who doesnt know what he is doing.

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

You must always have great, secret, big fat hopes for yourself in love and in life. The bigger, the better.

I admire Obama.

I came from a communist country where there are no luxury cars.

I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more.