This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

I want to manufacture a feud.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

I have to stay true to myself.

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

Wow. I am really pretentious.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

The leakage of information means you're going to be able to read everybody's e-mail.

We should not moor a ship with one anchor, or our life with one hope.

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

The skeleton was as happy as a madman whose straitjacket had been taken off.

The need to help spread democracy and the ability to do that will be much greater if we break this addiction to oil, which gives the oil princes and sultans the power in the Mideast.

I admire American ideas.

The life of our city is rich in poetic and marvelous subjects. We are enveloped and steeped as though in an atmosphere of the marvelous but we do not notice it.

I adore Chicago. It is the pulse of America.

The Bears treat offense as if it's bubonic plague.

I'm from Sweden. We don't wear clothes in Sweden.

When we begin to believe that there is greater joy in working with and for others rather than just for ourselves then our society will truly become a place of celebration.

Send Iran a clear message that if we are assaulted, we will meet it and trump it.

I was diagnosed as mentally retarded as late as the fourth grade.

I started out as a young Ninja and killed all of the Shoguns. I am a Shogun now and I'm holding my spot. There probably won't be another Shogun after this.

It's amazing how you meet people through other people. I knew a racecar driver, Stefan Johansson, who was very hot. He introduced me to Jean Todt. He introduced me to a French doctor. He introduced me to a French architect who redid the Louvre with I.M. Pei. He introduced me to Daniel Boulud.

At its very best, the Western model speaks for itself. It's the model that put food on the table. It's the refrigerators. It put a man on the moon.