I have to stay true to myself.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

I want to manufacture a feud.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

I have to stay true to myself.

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

Wow. I am really pretentious.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

There is an intelligence factor that works with the spoken word. With words, you have to understand meaning and nuances and things like that. You have to be able to relate…but with music it’s just music.

I am much more radical in my beliefs than my products represent me to be.

If you have a drug that is $100 for one course of therapy, and you know that you can charge $100,000, what should shareholders think when you say, 'I'd rather not take the heat'?

He understood well enough how a man with a choice between pride and responsibility will almost always choose pride “if responsibility robs him of his manhood.

You are the person you have been waiting for.

We need a president who is willing to uphold the law.

Martha Stewart is extremely talented. Her designs are picture perfect. Our philosophy is life is messy, and rather than being afraid of those messes we design products that work the way we live.

I try not to become friends with musicians, but life happens and dinner happens and going out happens - it becomes interwoven in L.A.

You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don’t do too many things wrong.

The ventures that keep things light and fun, easy to understand, that have a compelling story, a sexy retail product, will have an easier time getting people to rally around them and contribute. A start-up doing something that's difficult to communicate or doesn't offer any kind of retail product will have a tougher go at it.

It should be noted that the EPA's banning of methanol is categorically absurd from the point of view of environmental protection.

I remember Berlin. Berlin to me was the star of the film. I loved for six months that we filmed there.

Theres a rule they dont teach you at the Harvard Business School. It is if anything is worth doing its worth doing to excess.

We hope that the long darkness through which the Burmese people have lived may now be coming to an end.

Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take.

Too often, systems of oppression turn those who are the targets of the oppression against one another.

Ive been on a diet for two weeks and all Ive lost is two weeks.