Rapport building is at the root of effective communication

Emotional intelligence is a shorthand that psychological researchers use to describe how well individuals can manage their own emotions and react to the emotions of others.

“Mixed model,” developed by psychologist Daniel Goleman. The mixed model has five key areas: Self-awareness, Self-management,Motivation,Empathy and Social skills.

Self-awareness: Self-awareness involves knowing your own feelings. This includes having an accurate assessment of what you’re capable of, when you need help, and what your emotional triggers are.

Self-management: Self-management involves being able to control outbursts, calmly discussing disagreements, and avoiding activities that undermine you like extended self-pity or panic.

Motivation: Everyone is motivated to action by rewards like money or status. Goleman’s model, however, refers to motivation for the sake of personal joy, curiosity, or the satisfaction of being productive.

Empathy: While the three previous categories refer to a person’s internal emotions, this one deals with the emotions of others. Empathy is the skill and practice of reading the emotions of others and responding appropriately.

Social skills: This category involves the application of empathy as well as negotiating the needs of others with your own. This can include finding common ground with others, managing others in a work environment, and being persuasive.

Listening skills allow one to make sense of and understand what another person is saying.

Good listening skills make workers more productive. The ability to listen carefully allows workers to better understand assignments they are given. They are able to understand what is expected of them by their management.

Listening tips: Maintain eye contact with the speaker. This will demonstrate to the speaker that the listener is paying attention.

Do not interrupt the speaker. Wait until he or she is completely finished, then ask questions. Listening long enough may answer several of the questions without the need to ask. When the time is right to ask, repeat instructions first and then ask appropriate questions.

Control body language. As much as possible, sit still while listening. This implies that the listener is paying full attention to the speaker. A nod of the head can be good, as it implies agreement.

A good listener knows that being attentive to what the speaker doesn't say is as important as being attentive to what he does say. Look for nonverbal cues such as facial expressions and posture to get the full gist of what the speaker is saying.

Without rapport, there is little chance to influence or to persuade others.

what are some of the techniques you can implement to increase your capacity to build rapport? One powerful method is to match and mirror the behavior of the other

Matching and mirroring is the skill of assuming someone else’s style of behavior to create rapport.

Body postures and gestures What posture is the person you are having a conversation with assuming? Observe, and than match the posture and gestures.

The rhythm of the breathPay attention to how the other person is breathing, and then match it. This technique helps tremendously in bonding with the other.

The tone of your voice to build rapport, you need to mirror his or her tone of voice. pay attention at the speed of the speech.

self-disclosure is one of the hallmarks of intimate relationships.

Revealing your motives, intentions, goals, values, and emotions, can increase liking and feelings of intimacy.

Successful and strategic self-disclosure is a leadership competency that many leaders have yet to acquire.

Skillful self-disclosers choose the substance and process of their revelations, including the depth, breadth, and timing of disclosure, with the goal of furthering the collective task rather than furthering personal agendas.

Too little disclosure may result in follower feelings of uncertainty and suspicion, with followers unable to trust someone who isn’t open about his or her own background.

Skillful self-disclosure can humanize the leader, creating connections between the leader and followers that increase feelings of trust and intimacy, and, in an organizational context, a readiness to work together collaboratively to reach mutual task goals.

Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor.

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I've always sort of felt like what the Shins is, I guess, is a vehicle for my writing.

It is often said that the magnitude of a people is measured by their ability to know how to win.

Reason is like an open secret that can become known to anyone at any time; it is the quiet space into which everyone can enter through his own thought.

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If youre not standing on the edge youre taking up too much space.

... as a nurse, it's important to look calm on the surface when you're absolutely crapping yourself inside. So, if someone is waving a machete at you, which has happened to me when I was a nurse, it's important to make that person feel that you're in control.

A tattoo is graffiti on the temple of the body.

If you're going to think mean things about me or not be a true friend, then we don't need to be friends.

Canceling my landline phone account, cutting off service to my home for good, and rendering the telephones that had long sat on tables in every room as useless as my closeted bread machine, I took the final step in a lifelong attempt to free myself from the wires that tethered me.

This erosion of the middle class is happening all over the place. The opening of a wider gap between rich and poor is always accompanied by such a process.

It lies not in our power to love or hate For will in us is over ruld by fate.

Two special agents at the front door pulled me outside. By that time, they had already had the house surrounded with loaded weapons, machine guns, shotguns... about 25 federal agents.

When I first came to Hollywood, I could not break into movies.

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Every shopaholic needs an accomplice.

The writer cannot abandon himself simply to inspiration, and feign innocence vis a vis language, because language is never innocent.

Well, it's true that I've never been solitary, although I spend a lot of time alone. I've never felt lonely or been shy.

I don't think even when you find a person, you can be completely honest, ever. There's still pieces of you that you don't give away. I do believe you always need that place where it's just you, your thoughts, no one else's judgment or anything.

When I write stories I am like someone who is in her own country, walking along streets that she has known since she was a child, between walls and trees that are hers.

Wait for the person who will do anything to be your everything.

When I see young people interested in music. I always look out for that passion in their eyes. You never know where that might lead.